
The Mariners lost yet another heartbreaker, this time a 3-2 loss to the A’s in the 11th inning. But are the Mariners losing news anymore? I’ve gotten to the point where I am disappointed when I don’t see an item involving a fired coach or a complaining player. The results of the games have just become background noise.
So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I saw the news item that Ritchie Sexon, the guy that was supposed to make us forget that Ken Griffey, Jr. and Alex Rodriquez once played in Seattle, was released by the team Thursday morning.
The Mariners’ season has turned into a Dr. Seuss book.
They can lose when they score a lot or when they can’t score enough.
They lose when a pitcher’s on fire and they lose when his outing is rough.
They even lose when a backup catcher closes the game.
Man oh man, these Mariners are lame.
OK, but really, they do suck. Thankfully last night’s 2-0 loss to the A’s lasted just 1 hour and 45 minutes. Unless you’ve been trying to drink away the season. Then that sucked for you since 1 hr and 45 min isn’t enough time to drink until you forget the game.
Carlos Silva was money, going nine innings and allowing two runs while scattering seven hits. His counterpart, Justin Duchscherer, also went nine innings, allowing zero runs and just two hits. The sad part is that he struck out just four guys, which means his stuff wasn’t exactly Nolan Ryan-esque.
Then again I think I could throw three scoreless innings against this offense.
The sight of backup catcher Jaime Burke taking the mound in the 15th (it was the 15th, right? I lost count after 12) was incredible not because a position player was forced to pitch in a tie game. What was incredible is that Burke taking the mound isn’t even the saddest part of what has been an abysmal season. If anything, it gave us fans a reason to smile while we continue to die a little bit inside every day.
Detroit got the best of the Mariners, 2-1, and by “got the best of” I mean they finally decided to win the game after 14 innings of complacency. I mean someone has to do it and Detroit had no excuses once they saw a backup catcher take the mound.
Charlie Riedel/AP
Leave it to the Mariners to lose, even on a day off. At least this time it’s addition by subtraction.
Yes, everyone’s favorite Mike Martz look-alike, John McLaren, was finally put out of his misery and fired Thursday morning during a travel day for the Tacoma Rainers’ Major League affiliate.
I only hope interim GM Lee Pelekoudas took him out behind the shed and shot McLaren himself.
Following yet another loss, this time 5-2 to the Marlines, I’m sure members of the Tacoma Rainers’ Major League affiliate probably wanted to be put out of their misery.
I don’t blame them. I want to be put out of my misery and I just watch the team.

The American dollar is currently worth just 98 cents in Canada, using a four percent cash rate. You may or may not know what that means (I sure don’t) but all you need to understand is that the American dollar is worth less across the border.
Thankfully, for the Tacoma Rainers Major League affiliate, the same can’t necessarily be said about American baseball teams.
The Tacoma Rainers’ Major League affiliate has managed to make this season as entertaining as a Wile Coyote cartoon. Each day we’re all wondering just how this team is going to lose in the end. Will they smash into a painted wall? Or have an anvil fall on their collective heads? No, this team is more like every instance Mr. Coyote runs off a cliff for several moments, only to realize he has no more ground left to stand on.
That is what it has felt like keeping track of the Tacoma Rainers’ Major League affiliate. Every game we just watch and wait for the team to plummet.
I felt a little under the weather over the weekend so I decided to take a mental break, recharge my batteries and come back to hit the ground running. While I was gone the Mariners played .500 baseball, going 2-2 in my absence. Hmmmmm. Maybe I should take more breaks.
Regardless, after missing out on a few games I feel right at home again following a 7-5 loss to the Tigers Sunday afternoon. Surprisingly, Miguel Bautista was serviceable for the second straight game and he didn’t pick up the loss. Not surprisingly was that J.J. Putz did earn a loss. Well, not surprising for him this season.
This week’s Sports Illustrated cover is about baseball’s bizarro world. On Tuesday night Safeco Field was its own bizzaro world.
An 8-0 Daisuke Matsuzaka was going up against a who-care-what-his-record-is-because-its-bad Miguel Bautista. Yet, when the dust settled it was the Mariners who came out on top, 4-3 over the Red Sox. In the ninth inning no less.
I’ll be honest, going into the game I would’ve been more confident allowing Jeff Dahmer to cut my hair than allowing Miguel Bautista to start for my brother’s Little League team, let alone Seattle.
I hoped it would never come to this, but the Mariners have left me no other choice. Thanks to a 5-3 loss to the Red Sox (the team’s seventh straight) Seattle fell to 16 games below .500 and I have a strict rule that once a team falls under 15 games below .500 they can no longer be called by name.
OK, I never came up with that rule. It was created by Detroit sports radio personalities during the Tigers’ horrendous run in 2003. Anyway, now that the Mariners are 16 games below .500 they will now be referred to as the Tacoma Rainiers Major League affiliate.
Harsh you say? Well who cares! Tacoma’s Major League affiliate is 16 games below .500!
The latest loss didn’t do much to boost fans’ confidence … not that they had any to begin with.
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