The Mariner Monitor

Following yet another loss, this time 5-2 to the Marlines, I’m sure members of the Tacoma Rainers’ Major League affiliate probably wanted to be put out of their misery.

I don’t blame them. I want to be put out of my misery and I just watch the team.

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The American dollar is currently worth just 98 cents in Canada, using a four percent cash rate. You may or may not know what that means (I sure don’t) but all you need to understand is that the American dollar is worth less across the border.

Thankfully, for the Tacoma Rainers Major League affiliate, the same can’t necessarily be said about American baseball teams.

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The Tacoma Rainers’ Major League affiliate has managed to make this season as entertaining as a Wile Coyote cartoon. Each day we’re all wondering just how this team is going to lose in the end. Will they smash into a painted wall? Or have an anvil fall on their collective heads? No, this team is more like every instance Mr. Coyote runs off a cliff for several moments, only to realize he has no more ground left to stand on.

That is what it has felt like keeping track of the Tacoma Rainers’ Major League affiliate. Every game we just watch and wait for the team to plummet.

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I felt a little under the weather over the weekend so I decided to take a mental break, recharge my batteries and come back to hit the ground running. While I was gone the Mariners played .500 baseball, going 2-2 in my absence. Hmmmmm. Maybe I should take more breaks.

Regardless, after missing out on a few games I feel right at home again following a 7-5 loss to the Tigers Sunday afternoon. Surprisingly, Miguel Bautista was serviceable for the second straight game and he didn’t pick up the loss. Not surprisingly was that J.J. Putz did earn a loss. Well, not surprising for him this season.

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Rod Mar/THE SEATTLE TIMES

This week’s Sports Illustrated cover is about baseball’s bizarro world. On Tuesday night Safeco Field was its own bizzaro world.

An 8-0 Daisuke Matsuzaka was going up against a who-care-what-his-record-is-because-its-bad Miguel Bautista. Yet, when the dust settled it was the Mariners who came out on top, 4-3 over the Red Sox. In the ninth inning no less.

I’ll be honest, going into the game I would’ve been more confident allowing Jeff Dahmer to cut my hair than allowing Miguel Bautista to start for my brother’s Little League team, let alone Seattle.

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I hoped it would never come to this, but the Mariners have left me no other choice. Thanks to a 5-3 loss to the Red Sox (the team’s seventh straight) Seattle fell to 16 games below .500 and I have a strict rule that once a team falls under 15 games below .500 they can no longer be called by name.

OK, I never came up with that rule. It was created by Detroit sports radio personalities during the Tigers’ horrendous run in 2003. Anyway, now that the Mariners are 16 games below .500 they will now be referred to as the Tacoma Rainiers Major League affiliate.

Harsh you say? Well who cares! Tacoma’s Major League affiliate is 16 games below .500!

The latest loss didn’t do much to boost fans’ confidence … not that they had any to begin with.

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